Bert

I can feel it coming again - that roaring tidal wave of pain that starts in the gut but soon envelops the whole body. I know that it will pass but each time it takes longer to go and comes back sooner. Is it only a week since I woke up, screaming, that morning? It felt like all the she cats in Hell were trying to get out of my stomach - and all the toms were chasing them.

I can still only partly recall the events of that day. Using my personal alarm to alert the nurse in the retirement village where I - we - live, the panic in her voice when she arrived, the ambulance trip to hospital where I was rushed to a, fortunately, vacant operating theatre. The time in there, several hours I was told later, is all history but, funnily enough I could see myself lying on that table with tubes sticking out of all places of me and the theatre staff quietly, but efficiently, going about their respective duties.

My viewpoint seemed to be up near the ceiling from where I could quite clearly see, and hear, what was going on but no-one seemed to notice me. That clearly, in fact. that I saw the surgeon open me up, look around the interior and shake his head slowly. "Let's just sew him up again", he said to the staff.

When they had finished, and I was being taken out, I felt myself leave my vantage point and the next thing I was aware of was being in a bed in the acute care ward. A very attentive nurse was quickly by my side when she saw I was awake. "Ah, Mr. Standish., you are with us again. You have had quite a rough few hours."

Feeling that I could not agree more, I wearily nodded my head.

"The surgeon will be in to see you soon. He is just changing after another op. I must have drifted again because the next thing I knew was a friendly male voice, "Mr. Standish, Rob Petty here, your surgeon. Do you feel up to talking ?"

"Yes."

"Well.. you certainly gave us a scare back there, but I am afraid that I have very bad news for you." I tried to explain to him what I had experienced in the theatre but he brushed it aside. "Humph! That's all poppycock. You must have overheard someone talking when you were in recovery or when you were coming to, in here."

I didn't feel like arguing. I was tired, sick and sore all over. And I mean all over. Sleep, when it came. was a non-refreshing drug-induced blank.

"We may have to watch that Mr. Standish in bed 3" the surgeon told the charge-nurse. "He seems to think that he saw everything that went on in the operating theatre. Sounds like one of those psychics, or something."

That night Gert. my bride for nearly 60 years, came to see me. Gert and Bert we were called in our younger days.

"The Terrors of the Palaise." We used to go there every Saturday night to the dance. Could outlast and outstep them all. Made a great pair. In later years, when we joined the bowling club after the Palaise was converted into a supermarket we still wore the same reputation only it was now "The Green Wonders." Took to the sport like a pair of ducks to water, we did.

We had a very emotional hour or so together that night. She was, naturally enough, very worried and quite distressed about mv condition. I did not tell her, then, all the bad news, only enough to let her know that I was fairly ill.

She came every night after that, but could see that I was not improving, in fact I was failing rapidly. "Mr. Standish is getting to be quite a worry now the charge nurse mentioned to the surgeon. "He is frequently in considerable pain, and, while we are doing what we can to make him less uncomfortable, I feel that it is only a matter of time now. He appears to hallucinate and see things and, or, people who are not there."

"Not uncommon in this sort of trauma, "he replied. "We can only do our best and try to alleviate his discomfort as much as we can."

They think that I am "losing it" but I know that my friends are coming to see me. I have just finished talking to my old boss from the job from which I retired. Real sorry he was that I wouldn't be at the firm's annual dinner tomorrow night. Never missed it since I finished up with them. Didn't tell the nurse, but when Gert's brother Jim, came in this; afternoon he brought a hip flask and we had a nip or two together. Guess it's one advantage of having a private room. They don't keep their eyes on me all the time.

But I still look forward to Gert's visits every evening. Brings my whole day to a nice conclusion. Oh Hell, the pain. It's back again. I don't want her to see me in this state again. Saw me like it last night. Real upset her it did. Poor lass.

Is that you, Gert?"

"Yes, Bert."

"Ok Gert I am so sorry that you are seeing me in this condition.

"Bert, it is time for you to leave here. Let us go home to where we can both be by ourselves again." "They will never let me go out in this state."

"They won't know. Just come with me."

"Shouldn't we leave something here to show where I have gone ? I mean, I can't just walk out like that. "Here I will leave my wedding band on your pillow. They will understand what that means."

****

"Have you been in to see Bert lately, nurse."

"Hang on a minute, I will go now."

She came back verv quickly. "You had better let his family know that he has died.

"That does not really surprise me as he had been going downhill very quickly lately. Kept insisting that his friends and, especially his wife, were coming in to visit him. Reckoned his wife was here every evening." "He has been widowed for nearly eight years. His wife and her only brother were killed in a car crash."

A nurse came walking slowly out of Bert's room.

"Look what I found on his pillow. His wife's wedding band. See, It has her name on it."

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