HUSBAND
Who are you?
LOVER
So . . . You must be her husband.
HUSBAND
I was her childhood sweetheart.
WIFE
He is my husband, the doctor.
LOVER
Doctor, take your medicine!
HUSBAND
This is a bitter pill, indeed!
LOVER
I am her lover.
WIFE
His name is -- He is -- "Nature!" "Animal!" "Libido!"
HUSBAND
He's just passing through.
WIFE
My husband's name is -- .
LOVER
The man she left behind!
HUSBAND
My wife's been cheating on me.
WIFE
She desired to be wanted -- sexually.
LOVER
I admire her for doing what she did.
WIFE
I wanted to find out what being wanted by another man was like.
LOVER
Sexual desires were made magical, then they were made real. By me!
WIFE
I escaped to another world.
HUSBAND
A farm house miles away from the nearest neighbor.
LOVER
Romantic and isolated.
WIFE
We stopped doing it in my bed at home. Too dangerous.
HUSBAND
You've been making love with him in the bed we shared so many years? How
could
you?
WIFE
The only time you slept in the same bed with me, you wanted sex!
HUSBAND
That was the place of our beginnings --
WIFE
And our endings.
HUSBAND
Where we learned so much about each other. About ourselves.
WIFE
About myself.
LOVER
You're not going to shake my hand?
HUSBAND
I know where that hand has been!
WIFE
I have no regrets.
HUSBAND
Look at this! She treats sex with him very casually, like she has no
regrets at all.
WIFE
Isn't that what I just said?
LOVER
She was reaching for something that she truly was, but couldn't be around
him.
WIFE
She uses sex with her lover to free herself from the hold her husband has on
her.
HUSBAND
She runs like a deer from having sex with me.
WIFE
I love being with him! He's so powerful! So savage! So hard!
LOVER
She treasures her sexual experience with me.
HUSBAND
She secretly desired something that was unacceptable.
LOVER
She secretly desired something she couldn't have.
WIFE
She knows what she wants.
HUSBAND
She knows where she belongs.
LOVER
She knows what she deserves.
WIFE
First chance I got, I took it, grabbed it, and squeezed it as hard as I
could!
LOVER
Yes, she did.
WIFE
I squeezed it like an orange and got all the juice out of it!
LOVER
Yes, she did.
HUSBAND
These women give him sex whenever he knocks at the door.
WIFE
He makes me feel attractive and wanted.
LOVER
She found in another man what her marriage lacks.
WIFE
Doctor, heal thyself!
HUSBAND
Love depends upon the woman.
LOVER
Remember the past, where we first met.
WIFE
I will never forget you!
HUSBAND
He was a good-looking stranger. He was easy!
LOVER
A relationship must start with friendship first.
WIFE
He is a gentleman.
HUSBAND
Not being able to refuse the love of a stranger.
WIFE
I went out, bought a new dress, some jewelry.
HUSBAND
I told her to spend the money on herself! I wanted her to be happy and look
her
best and feel great about herself!
LOVER
She looked marvelous!
WIFE
He just stared at me. I noticed his muscular body.
HUSBAND
You seem to have forgotten you've committed adultery!
LOVER
Staying with you is staying with nothing!
HUSBAND
I'm nothing?!
LOVER
You can't even keep your wife!
HUSBAND
Oh god . . . I can't!
WIFE
He hasn't done anything wrong. Except not let me be myself. Which isn't
unusual.
HUSBAND
You're in love with him and not with me.
WIFE
You didn't see I wanted to be wild and enjoy myself.
HUSBAND
Especially when it came to sex.
WIFE
Especially when it came to sex.
HUSBAND
Once you did it -- you can't take it back.
WIFE
I don't see what I did was adultery. More like a warning to my husband how
I was
feeling.
HUSBAND
I was the last one to know.
WIFE
I lived with the beatings and the insults because I thought I deserved them.
HUSBAND
When did I hurt you? How could I hurt you? I love you!
WIFE
It doesn't really mean I don't love my husband any more. It's more a matter
of
loneliness.
HUSBAND
I thought of her as a partner?
WIFE
You thought of me as a business partner.
LOVER
With me, sex is wonderful and not something dirty.
WIFE
A marriage like ours? I had to do something. Either cheat or escape. Or
both.
LOVER
If you can't be more sensitive and appreciative, you'll end up with a
loveless
marriage -- or worse, with no marriage!
WIFE
If you tell the world, you tell the world I'm a whore.
LOVER
If you tell the world you're a fool, you're a fool!
HUSBAND
I've never cheated on you. But I have doubted what we have had together.
LOVER
That's cheating!
WIFE
I'm living the life most women only dream of -- having wonderful sex all day
and all
night. Most men be watching football -- or go through the motions of sex in
about
five minutes or less.
HUSBAND
You think you're a victim?
WIFE
Society will think so. Ask them. They think so.
LOVER
Anybody who hits a pregnant woman should be castrated! He is a disgusting
man!
HUSBAND
Are you pregnant?
WIFE
Why should you care?
HUSBAND
I'm not the father?
LOVER
Don't look at me!
WIFE
Men!
HUSBAND
She's probably lying to us both!
LOVER
She would never tell a lie!
HUSBAND
What do you think she's been doing to me?
LOVER
Maybe she's not pregnant at all.
HUSBAND
Go ahead and ask her.
WIFE
How did you find out?
HUSBAND
There was a smell on her clothes . . . The smell of making love in her
hair. The
look in her eye said she was getting laid by somebody.
LOVER
People look up to him. They think too much of him.
WIFE
He's a senile baby. I dress him everyday. Life is so routine, so
methodical. If I
had to telephone him right now, I'd know exactly where he is.
LOVER
Cuckold! You asked for it!
WIFE
He puts his clothes on, but I set them out for him the night before. His
routine
sent me over the edge.
HUSBAND
Not a loving husband. But devoted.
WIFE
He's the reason I lost my past identity. He wanted an ideal wife. Not a
real one
with opinions, needs and desires.
LOVER
He's heartless!
HUSBAND
Never!
LOVER
People will say you were inadequate. You couldn't keep your wife. There
will be a
lot of unanswered questions.
WIFE
I was so wrapped up in taking care of him, I neglected myself.
HUSBAND
I didn't know what was going on. Being unfaithful to me -- I thought it was
some
mid-life phase.
LOVER
Some people might call us soulmates.
WIFE
I cherish the time we've had together. I'll celebrate it once each year at
this time.
LOVER
She's such a beautiful, delicate creature.
HUSBAND
She's not dumb. Just not thinking.
WIFE
I am not a prize in some male conquest!
HUSBAND
She is not a prize.
WIFE
You transformed me into what I wanted to be.
HUSBAND
You cheated on me! And I look like the bad guy?
LOVER
Put the blame on the husband!
WIFE
In my dreams I'm always sobbing.
HUSBAND
I exist so your lover can pity you!
WIFE
He makes me feel important and young.
LOVER
A cuckold husband adds danger!
WIFE
A cuckold husband adds fear.
HUSBAND
He makes the lover look better.
WIFE
He holds me back from my dreams.
LOVER Routine life, ha!
WIFE
My lover gives me inner peace and security.
HUSBAND
And what about morality?
WIFE
She cut off a braid of her hair and sent it to her lover.
LOVER
Long flowing hair. Red hair with green eyes. Wearing a sexy dress. Going
bra-less.
WIFE
My beauty has always been a hindrance. When a man sees a beautiful woman,
that
may be all he allows himself to see.
HUSBAND
She longs to be pitied, and only her lover pities her.
WIFE
There was love in the marriage. Just not the kind I needed.
LOVER
It wasn't planned. It just happened.
HUSBAND
You always wanted to watch TV when I wanted to have sex.
LOVER
You're a lazy husband.
HUSBAND
You feel no remorse for what you did?
LOVER
For years she's let herself be treated like a maid by her husband.
WIFE
Then she decided she can't take it anymore.
LOVER
She's taking the first big step of freeing herself from the clutches of
sexism.
WIFE
Let me live as people, not as a caged bird.
LOVER
We shared power in bed.
HUSBAND
Our love lost to another.
LOVER
What did marriage mean to you?
WIFE
Being freed from being a virgin.
HUSBAND
Love is a force that gives otherwise all-powerful people a headache.
WIFE
He still tries to control me, who was never his to begin with.
HUSBAND
Thief! You stole my wife!
LOVER
The only thing I ever stole was her photograph. I will carry it with me
always.
HUSBAND
Where is it now? In your other pants?
WIFE
He was very nice but he didn't fulfill my deepest wishes.
HUSBAND
What do you mean by boring?
LOVER
He doesn't have what it takes to please his woman.
WIFE
When I find happiness, I'm not going to let it go.
HUSBAND
I tried so hard to fill a hole in my heart with a woman who could never fill
it.
WIFE
I was bored.
HUSBAND
Is adultery okay because you get bored?
WIFE
All he really wanted was to have sons to carry on his good name.
LOVER
He was too busy with other things to make her feel loved.
WIFE
She found it easy to lie, which was not like her at all.
LOVER
The forest suggests freedom, the way a forest is wide open and things run
wild and
free in it.
HUSBAND
He's one of those sensitive jerks!
WIFE
Plenty of room for fantasy and for feelings and actions to run loose.
HUSBAND
If two people are really in love with each other, then they wouldn't have
affairs with
others.
LOVER
She had the affair because she missed the passion and excitement.
HUSBAND
Does that justify it? Is that all it takes to justify it?
WIFE
I didn't go to bed with him when he asked me because I was too tired to have
sex
after the amazing weekend with my lover.
HUSBAND
How will the children react upon finding out of their mother's infidelity?
WIFE
We have no children!
HUSBAND
And whose fault was that?
WIFE
He wants me to be beautiful and feminine and inferior to him.
LOVER
You can't help who you fall in love with.
WIFE
Sex is an act between two people who love each other. It is not cheap. It
is not a
matter of fulfilling a man's needs.
HUSBAND
In this incident, sex is just sex . . . nothing else.
WIFE
Who would want to fight for three months over a bar of soap?
LOVER
You fought over a bar of soap?
WIFE
For three months.
LOVER
Who won?
HUSBAND
I lost.
WIFE
Yes, you did. Because you couldn't satisfy me.
HUSBAND
Not being satisfied is very popular in today's society.
WIFE
Love is something to hold on to, to keep it strong.
LOVER
Society cheers on this sort of love.
WIFE
He represents everything that is absent in my life.
HUSBAND
He represents everything that is now absent in my life.
WIFE
He's this hard animal! Savage!
HUSBAND
She's so one-sided! Are you going to take her at her word? Shouldn't you
question
where she's coming from? And what does she hope to gain from all this?
LOVER
What does she get from all this?
WIFE
Do I love you?
LOVER
Compare how her lover treats her and how her husband treats her.
WIFE
You should always do what is "convenient".
HUSBAND
"Convenient"? Is that how she justifies Murder?
LOVER
What's a good motivation for murder? How does "homicide" get validated? If
you
were stalked and killed by your spouse, would you feel his or her motives
are valid?
HUSBAND
Or does she still choose "conveniences"?
WIFE
You should always do what's convenient.
LOVER
O.J. Simpson.
HUSBAND
Who describes the characters? Who decides how we view them?
WIFE
After Carnival comes Lent.
LOVER
Mardi Gras. Party, party, party.
HUSBAND
"Carnivale" means "Good-bye, Meat". After we party, party, party, we get
forty
days of penance and fasting. No good times until Lent is over.
LOVER
When the party's over . . . you pay the price.
HUSBAND
Is it the husband's duty to keep his wife from being bored?
WIFE
Does the husband's age enter in?
LOVER
Just how old are you?
HUSBAND
I'm not so old.
WIFE
He's old!
LOVER
He's older than sin!
HUSBAND
No. No. Sin is older than me. 'Way older.
LOVER
Would you accept Francesca's behavior if you were the cuckolded spouse?
HUSBAND
What about my feelings!
LOVER
Is guilt a good reason to stay with a spouse you've cheated on?
HUSBAND
Should we believe adulteresses and murderers?
WIFE
I should have killed you!
LOVER
What are the motives for getting married? How "good" are they? How "lousy"
are
they? How would you feel if your spouse confided to you, that after five
years of
marriage, that she . . .
WIFE
Or he . . .
LOVER
. . . was cheating on you!
HUSBAND
. . . had that same lousy motivation?
WIFE
The lover or the cuckolded husband. Who can go the distance?
LOVER
What distance?
HUSBAND
Who lasts longer?
WIFE
He does!
LOVER
Which love is going to last longer?
WIFE
But will you love me tomorrow?
HUSBAND
How long does a fling last?
LOVER
As long as it lasts long enough.
WIFE
Long enough to know better!
LOVER
Which love is going to last forever?
WIFE
(She can't decide.)
HUSBAND
Who do you want to stay with for the rest of time?
WIFE
(She can't decide.)
LOVER
So, how do you describe him?
HUSBAND
Did they marry for love?
WIFE
I did!
HUSBAND
Is "a lack of quality time together" justification for adultery?
WIFE
All the women are on my side.
HUSBAND
All the men would be on your side if you took off your clothes and let them
lie next
to you!
LOVER
How should a husband -- any husband -- feel about her adultery?
WIFE
Would your point of view be the same if you were the cuckolded spouse?
LOVER
How would you react if you discovered -- ?
HUSBAND
(A nasty wolf whistle.)
WIFE
She's been messing around on you!
LOVER
He's been cheating on you!
HUSBAND
Hey, what's good for the goose is good for the gander!
LOVER
Hey, take a gander at what she's got!
WIFE
Hey, give him a goose!
LOVER
(Yelps!)
HUSBAND
Did she marry for convenience? Did she get what she deserve?
WIFE
Several times. But not often enough. Not even from him.
LOVER
Does she have the right to bitch about her lot in life?
HUSBAND
Would this woman have done the same thing she did to me to any man she was
married to?
LOVER
Would this woman have done the same thing she did to me to any man she
happened upon?
WIFE
Is "marriage for convenience" the whole problem?
LOVER
What is a cuckold husband?
HUSBAND
Is he there to question the choices made by his wife?
WIFE
Is he there as a reality check?
LOVER
Is he there as a tent pole to hold the institution of marriage up?
WIFE
Is stability boring?
LOVER
What is he guilty of?
HUSBAND
Does the cuckold husband give women the upper hand?
LOVER
Does she tell the truth?
HUSBAND
How important are "honor", "commitment", responsibility", "duty"?
WIFE
Pope John Paul the Second was Time Magazine's 1994 Man of the Year because
of
"his moral compass".
HUSBAND
Which direction are we going?
WIFE
Which way's North?
LOVER
Where did we come from? Where are we going?
WIFE
What should we bring along with us?
LOVER
A loaf of bread, a jog of wine, and Thou --
WIFE
Great!
LOVER
Did you pack everything?
HUSBAND
What can we get away with on the trip?
LOVER
Why should we believe her?
WIFE
Why should we believe you?
HUSBAND
Women are there to obey their husbands.
WIFE
Women need to feel loved because they are unhappily married.
LOVER
Women cannot live their life without a man.
WIFE
All of a sudden -- You don't make me feel womanly.
LOVER
What did I say? What did I do?
HUSBAND
That's what happens when you think with your dick.
WIFE
You're taking me for granted.
LOVER
I didn't mean what I said!
WIFE
Don't think with your dick.
HUSBAND
You should have just used it.
(The Wife takes the Husband's hand, they kiss fervently, and start offstage. The Husband stops and addresses the audience.)
HUSBAND
She was never true to her husband fully, though they remained married.
WIFE
"They lived happily ever after!"
LOVER
Why can't I make them stay!
WIFE
I'd have left with him in a heartbeat -- if he had asked me.
HUSBAND
Let's go home.
LOVER
Take her dancing. Send her flowers. Go for a walk at night. Make love to
her
under the stars.
WIFE
What am I doing!
(The Wife shakes free from the Husband. The Wife leaves the stage, and the
Husband walks off in the opposite direction. The Lover is left alone on
stage.)
LOVER
The greatest passion is that which has been stolen.
Husband and Wife jump back on stage.
HUSBAND and WIFE
(in unison)
You're full of shit!
They leave the Lover alone on stage.
LOVER
A broken heart? Me? That's not fair!
(Then he leaves the stage.)
THE END.